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The many attempts to make pizza dough

August 26, 2010

I haven’t yet figured out how to smuggle my mother’s Kitchen Aid out from her kitchen under her nose. Although, I’m pretty sure if her mixer went for a walk, she’d know exactly who took it on that walk, given that I have requested to borrow it in the past. Her answer? "Costco has Kitchen Aid mixers that are larger than mine and go on sale quite often." Subtle

Someday, you shall be mine and I will name you Molly. Molly the Mixer.

Tomorrow night I’ve been invited out and I said I’d bring an appetizer (I’m also bringing wine, but that goes without saying, I usually turn up with a bottle of red in my handbag. And yes, my handbag is large enough to conceal a full bottle of vino, isn’t yours?!).

I’ll admit that I offered to bring an appetizer because I might have an ulterior motive. I’ve been dying to make this: Cheesy zucchini pizza

Let’s be honest, I should just say up front I am dying to make all the recipes on this blog, I just need to find more excuses in which to make said recipes and NOT EAT EVERY MORSEL MYSELF!!! I’m feeling like this is a version of Julie & Julia, except Julia is a gal named Jenna, the recipes are so much easier than Julia’s, and, small detail, my name isn’t Julie. So really, it’s nothing like the movie (or the book, or the blog) except I can’t stop thinking about chocolate chip cookies and, pizza and, shrimp and linguini and…

I’ll stop now.

I read the instructions and ingredient list and realized I don’t have pre-made pizza dough. I considered just buying a premade crust, but, where is the fun in that?

So I spent some time googling "Can you make pizza dough in your food processor?"

If you haven’t figured it out, there isn’t anything I won’t google. (Sidenote: WHAT DID THE WORLD DO BEFORE GOOGLE?!)

Of course, I could just kneed the dough myself, it’s not like I’m making ginormous amounts here. But that seems so… boring. And, anytime I have an excuse to pull out my food processor, I do a little dance.

Plus, confession, I’m not sure how to kneed dough. I realize this is probably a fundamental baking principle or something, but I clearly missed that day in Home Ec.

I emerged from my office to ask one of my co-workers, "How do you kneed dough?"

My poor coworker, I ask her a million questions a day, 99% work related, and then I bust out with random baking questions. I don’t think she knows what to do with me, but after she stopped laughing, she confessed she didn’t really know either. She directed me to buy pizza dough from my local pizza shop. I don’t even know where my local pizza place is, so clearly, that option is out of the question.

I had to find some dough recipes too. Shocking, there is one on the same website.

Attempt #1:

Read directions on the jar of yeast; mix 2 1/4 tsp of yeast with 1/4c warm water. Warm water? like how warm? lukewarm?  hot warm?

Trust me, warm as in, “turn on your hot water tap, let run for 10 seconds, use that hot water” and not “place water in microwave for 30 seconds kind of warm”.

If you do that, it results in digging through supplies and doing this:


I have no clue why I owe a candy thermometer. It’s one of life’s many mysteries.

Turns out the water was about 3 times hotter than it should be. Pour out, start again.

Attempt #2:

Manage not to mess up the water temperature. Progress.

Mix water, yeast, flour and salt, place in food processor and…

Look at my  scribbled instructions, run over to my laptop, compare instructions and… oh.

1 and 1/3 cups of water. NOT 1/3cup of water.

BIG difference.

Debate merits of adding one cup of warm water to mixture at this point. Yay? Nay? Add water, mix for 5 minutes. Look at the mixture. Sigh.  I throw the ball of dough on the counter behind, and start again.

Attempt #3:

Yes. THREE. This is why I watch Top Chef and am not a contestant. Thank goodness I bought a JAR of yeast. Also, I am running out of flour.  And, slight timing detail, I need to be out the door in one hour. ACK!!!!

Methodically measure out every ingredient, triple check water temperature… put it all together into the food processor and…

I think my food processor was becoming a little testy as it was a little overheated and warmed the dough. Whoops. At least I haven’t set anything on fire. Yet.

There is always tomorrow.

Take the dough out, reach behind me to grab a bowl in which to place this new ball of dough and notice the original ball has doubled in size.

Wait, what?!

DSC01658 DSC01659

Awwww… hot mess attempt #2 in the red bowl!

Apparently adding a cup of water during the mixing stage doesn’t ruin the dough. Who knew?!

Cover the bowls and place in the fridge before running out the door.

Final product:

DSC01660 3 hours later, come home, realize there is WAY TOO MUCH DOUGH.

Cut attempt #2 dough ball in half, place in freezer. Decide to make Pioneer Woman cinnamon buns in the future. Cut the “good” dough ball in half, wrap in saran wrap and place back in the fridge for tomorrow. Cut half in half, place a quarter in the freezer and then decide to bake a mini pizza with the remaining quarter for tomorrow’s lunch:


Pretty much used up all the veggies left in my fridge; spinach, peppers, onions, jalepenos, cheese.

I’m now sitting far, far away from the mini- pizza. I may have snuck a taste. Or two. Ok, I ate 1/3 of it.

At this rate, the cheesy zucchini pizza may not make it out of my house tomorrow night.

Now I have to tackle this:

DSC01657and that is only half the messy dishes…

5 Comments leave one →
  1. August 27, 2010 5:27 am

    I am totally in love with your writing in this post. The end.

  2. August 27, 2010 7:54 am

    I believe Trader Joe’s has pre-made uncooked dough. Save yourself the trouble 🙂

  3. August 27, 2010 12:42 pm

    hahahaha. This is so me.

  4. hikerchick permalink
    August 27, 2010 5:51 pm

    I think you might need to google….washing up fairies…….wait……….you have a dishwasher now!!! 🙂

  5. September 11, 2010 12:03 am

    Oh love…just love that I’m not alone in my love and kitchen problems 🙂

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