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Pizza Failure

October 27, 2010

Last week I was on a roll cooking/recipe wise. I knew it had to end at some point, but I was hoping for “later” rather than “sooner”.

I had high hopes. I had printed off the recipe for Italian Wedding Soup and even visited a foreign country to obtain the necessary ingredients.

Um, yes, I just referenced the United States as a foreign country. Anytime I have to cross a border, get stopped at said border, have to vacate my vehicle, enter the border office (for the first time ever in my life), and then, one of the passengers in the vehicle has to pay a $6 document fee because their passport is from Europe, that is deemed “a visit to a foreign country” in my books.

Anyway, I had my grocery list, and raced around Trader Joe’s like a contestant from Supermarket Sweep, filling my cart with all sorts of hummus treats. I found a bag of harvest grain and discovered it had wheat in it, so there went my entire meal plan for Monday to Wednesday.

Bye bye Italian wedding soup.

Then I decided I would make pizza. Buffalo chicken pizza to be exact, because there isn’t any condiment I love more than hot sauce. In my excitement to make pizza, I may have overlooked the fact that 99.9% of all the recipes call for the use of a) ranch dressing , b) blue cheese or c) the combo of both a and b. Since those fall under the banned list, I had to come up with Meal Plan option #3.

I was kind of fixated on pizza, so I figured I’d make BBQ’ed chicken pizza. Found my bag of pizza crust mix, dumped it all in the mixer and mixed. The mixture didn’t really seem right, but not being a person that concedes defeat easily, I added some more flour to the mixture, and set out to wait the 40 minutes for it to rise.

Well, the dough did rise, but it was a messy, gooey blob of, well, not pizza dough. After much stomping around my kitchen, tossing the mess in the garbage, and grabbing some brown rice tortillas, I made “pizza” anyway. Again, nothing some BBQ sauce and Daiya cheese can’t save.


By the way, failed pizza dough will live on, rising away in your garbage can like a grade 7 science project gone wrong.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. hikerchick permalink
    October 27, 2010 8:26 pm

    Now you are speaking of something i understand…… failures!!! lol!! hugs !!!d

  2. October 27, 2010 9:19 pm

    I’m scared of making homemade dough for the same reasons. It seems like a science similar to baking and I’m more of a random throw it in kind of girl.

  3. October 28, 2010 8:55 am

    I LOVE Supermarket Sweep. I wanted to be on it SO bad when I was a kid. I totally had it all mapped out in my head what my route would be. Awesome 🙂

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